I read the Harlequin Romance novels when I was a teenager and I have written reviews for Romantic novels for an on-line publication. Analyzing romantic literature takes away some of the magic…and real life romances are not the same in reality as they are on the printed pages. Just like any woman, I dream my dreams of daring, dashing, handsome lovers and fantastic love. On the other hand, having been married before, I know romance can come down to tired after work, dishes to be done, and could we get some sleep more often. My parents have been married for almost 50 years, and that is real life romantic answers. With this in mind….I have thought out a Romantic Notion on the page in the dreamy, sexually charged world of fantasy that makes my knees go weak. Let me share:
Working tin pans, I look sideways at the man who brought me here from the road. His gaze is intense and preoccupied and I look away. It is well past noon and I am incapable of working the pan metal correctly to prepare the pans for others to smooth. The sun is high and I put down my skillet and sit with my chin on my hand. With his loose, flowing pants and open shirt, the man is foreign to me. His sister has asked me to take a scarf and I have declined, knowing I must leave soon. The man brushes close to my skin and as I move away he pulls me to him. His chest is hard and he smells of oils. Suddenly, he releases me. His touch lingers on my body. I turn my head as I think of nightfall and how close we sleep by the campfire. The glow of the gold painted wagons is cold in the ashes and my heart beats quickly as the man spontaneously captures my lips with his. Wild and strong, he is a hunter in the chase. His tanned throat jumps as he laughs at my confusion. His white teeth will show in the moonlight tonight when he lays down with me after the gypsy wine.
Romantic Notions are those inconsequential ideas that spark our sexual desires and leave us dreaming about further encounters. They can be found in a smile or a tear, a rescue or an interlude in bed. Chasing our own desires, we are not all inclined to respond equally to the same Romantic Notions. Real life Romantic Notions are hard to find. While I am between male lovers (I do not take female ones) Romantic Notions in my head are not as easy to please and have no satisfactory outlet. There is a delicate balance between romantic fantasies and the love found in our daily life- virtual romances will never be capable of replacing real physical participation. When there is someone to love, catching and holding a Romantic Notion is the difference between a good glass of water and the heady intoxication of gypsy wine.
INXS gave us the words: “You’re one of my kind”. “My kind” is a difficult turn of phrase. Questions arise over genealogy, country of origin, religion, sex, income levels, education, and the list just keeps going. Defining “My kind” is sort of a spectacularly onerous task when every human being is created unique.
Diversity is a key word in many corporate environments today, but there is still the search for the right “kind” in certain levels and circles of business. The search for our similarities is the search for the reasons we are together. Each man and woman, according to his or her purpose (and not qualities) can bond together with others in common ground. This does not make us the same, and this does not change our differences. Purpose holds the promise of achievements and changes brought about by the work employed. If “My kind” did not refer to any other commonality except the common purposes found in our hopes, dreams, goals, and work together, this phrase would carry forth an eloquent statement of humanity.
I do not hope to ever find “My kind”. Instead, I celebrate the differences in others and myself and accept that I will not always be comfortable with differences. In my neighborhood there is a bagpipe player, a motorcycle rider, and someone that works in their garage with a band saw. I have nothing in common with any of these traits, but we all do live in the same neighborhood environment. At times the sounds from all of these ring through the peaceful quiet of a calm housing development and this lets me know that there are others here with their own preferences standing their ground for the right to their own past-times.
The rules of society should not be made to exclude or include others. Our societal rules are meant to allow those who choose to be together to come together and to protect our environments so that everyone may co-exist regardless of “My kind”, “Your kind”, or “Our kind”. We may not all be the same, but we agree to certain rules (such as the time of day and level that sounds in the neighborhood are best kept at).
Some would say “My kind” obeys the agreeable rules; others would claim that “My kind” always breaks rules. The idea of “My kind” interferes with autonomy (the capacity for self-determination) and autonomy is the essence of the reasons for societal rules and protections. A “group think” starts to happen around our rules, over “for” and “against”, and polarization starts to interfere with the capability of maintaining an environment that will support the survival of diversity. “My kind” likes the bagpipes, does not mind motorcycle noises done politely and does not care so much to hear the band saw going. Putting up with a little irritation at sounds once in awhile leaves me in a neighborhood with “My kind” of house and “My kind” of good neighbors- tradeoffs that I am happy to make.