Floods, Home, and Motherhood

Charleston, SC is where my home is currently located. The recent situation of flood disaster across South Carolina has an interesting personal perspective from me as I continue to watch South Carolinians recover in the aftermath and the presence of true miracles. Values and reasons that sustain what we all hold dear are not entirely standard commonalities across any type of people for their similarities that may or may not actually exist.

South Carolina has been in too much pain. The confederate flag was removed from the state grounds and the history of the people of this state was asked denial. I have lived in the South U.S. variously enough of my life to understand a better world in the present day out of all of the Southern people that have grown and matured and created better civilization than the historic pasts. Validation of pain in the South is regression from what has emerged better that shows a stubbornness to arrive correctly in the present time. Now South Carolina has had a flood crisis and more rebuilding and resources are demanded on top of economic and other pains.

Most of us were born from a human being that gave birth that we call “mother”. I am a daughter and I do still have a mother. I chose for many real reasons in my life not to bear children. This does not invalidate the concept and realization of motherhood that still remains valid, even when I know I do not wish to live my life for, about, or because of children. We do not all become exactly like the mother we were born from and history bears children that are not history’s mothers and fathers.

Precious to me are a few honest things in my life: home, my cats (my childeren), men and women that care about one another and keep well in contributions they give and values they maintain for themselves in better lives, skills and talents and resources not wasted and disposed of, but most of all how human beings take responsibility for their own decisions and uses when freedoms are still alive and the viability of all compatible existing versions of love that are defined in human kind. South Carolina might redefine in some ways, but if you ever knew this state and believed in anything remember not to hate with destruction that does not leave value for the changes achieved as I, for one, would like a future that keeps well.

I gave thanks my ways for my home that still remains in South Carolina today.

Mothers and Fathers die and pass away. As an adult, I have realized we are not always there for everything that happens in our own we have had and we did not always know in all ways everything that was from our heritage. When we do not deny our own lives as we are now, or our histories from our own understandings, life sustains alive on the Earth and a future.

The Loving Spirit

There is an old saying, “God gives us our relatives, thank God we can choose our friends.” (Ethel Watts Mumford) It can be argued that we do not choose our co-workers, we do not choose our neighbors, and we did choose our mates even if we did not get to choose our children (adoptions excluded). However, we do choose to hold down one job or another, we do choose to live in certain houses or apartments, and we do or do not choose to have children. This question of personal “choice” is a bit unclear in the actual application as we interact responsibly with adult society where we make some of our own decisions and have to respect the decisions of others. To put the point politely, we can choose to have conversations or we can walk away; we can isolate ourselves or we can reach out; we can choose to stay or move on- but there are always issues and problems that arise when people interact.

It is unrealistic to think that we will enjoy or appreciate every person we encounter in life. At times, we fight to hold on to our own possessions, beliefs, and human rights in a world where it is possible to lose what we have to others. This does not negate the fact that we are still making our own choices about the situations that arise from living in a world where people interact on some level, in some way, almost every day.  I cannot be responsible for most of the choices that other people make, but I am responsible for my own choices. At times, individuals join and make choices together and there are times when we make choices for each other. In a world of “choosing”, our personal choices influence others and others personal choices will affect our own lives. I do not believe the issue at stake is did we choose one another or are we forced to accept one another. Instead, I think the questions we need to ask ourselves revolve around the issue of human nature and the loving spirit.

We will not always agree and we will not always disagree, but to remain in a world where choices are possible and choosing in any way limits further choices by ourselves and by others, respect, fairness, and communication are necessary in our interactions with one another. Whether we are making our own choices or choosing for others, the responsibility that comes with decision-making requires these three elements to protect each and every one of us from the anger and frustration in the human condition that results from the perception that we have been acted upon in such a way that our own autonomy has been removed. To preserve our freedom to choose, it is not necessary to take that freedom away from others. We must, however, acknowledge our individual responsibility for choosing will necessarily determine how, when, and where we include other people in our lives.